Lucky

I've always considered myself to be a pretty lucky person.  I usually win at the casino, pull tabs, etc.  I remember my dad even saying to me last Christmas when we were playing a family game "Have Kellie roll the die - she's really lucky."

I spend a lot of time thinking my luck will run out some day.  Then I realize I work hard for what I have and maybe what I think is lucky, I should sometimes feel I deserve. 

This pregnancy is no different.  I used to think I was so lucky.  My first trimester was a breeze.  I hardly felt sick and even lost weight :)  Fast forward 31 weeks and we have had absolutely zero complications.  Lucky.

Then I remembered I paid my dues.  I had to lose a baby to realize how badly I wanted one.  I had to feel miserable and have a very dark time in my life and my marriage.  I paid my dues.  I deserve this healthy baby and to feel wonderful carrying it.

Now  I think some of my luck is changing.  Baby is still healthy and moving and kicking all the time, which of course is fantastic.  But now is the time I do not feel well.

Nausea hits me like a ton of bricks at random times.  Fatigue has all of a sudden stricken me like no other force.  And insomnia has kicked in full force.  In the last few weeks I have become very thankful for Netflix.  What else would be entertaining on television from 4-7 am?

The baby has also found a way to rest what I believe is a foot right in my upper right rib cage.  That dull ache I can deal with - easily.  But the nerve it's sitting on and pinching which is making the top of my belly tingle and feel like it's "falling asleep" 24 hours a day has me just about losing my mind.  I constantly am trying to change positions, lay down, stand up, walk, rest, and none of it helps.  I also asked my doctor about it and she says "Sounds you're just one of the unlucky ones."

There it is folks.  Someone told me I was unlucky.

But that's okay.  Because as I type this and stare at the computer screen, my stomach is moving.  And that, to me, is very lucky.