Lucky

I've always considered myself to be a pretty lucky person.  I usually win at the casino, pull tabs, etc.  I remember my dad even saying to me last Christmas when we were playing a family game "Have Kellie roll the die - she's really lucky."

I spend a lot of time thinking my luck will run out some day.  Then I realize I work hard for what I have and maybe what I think is lucky, I should sometimes feel I deserve. 

This pregnancy is no different.  I used to think I was so lucky.  My first trimester was a breeze.  I hardly felt sick and even lost weight :)  Fast forward 31 weeks and we have had absolutely zero complications.  Lucky.

Then I remembered I paid my dues.  I had to lose a baby to realize how badly I wanted one.  I had to feel miserable and have a very dark time in my life and my marriage.  I paid my dues.  I deserve this healthy baby and to feel wonderful carrying it.

Now  I think some of my luck is changing.  Baby is still healthy and moving and kicking all the time, which of course is fantastic.  But now is the time I do not feel well.

Nausea hits me like a ton of bricks at random times.  Fatigue has all of a sudden stricken me like no other force.  And insomnia has kicked in full force.  In the last few weeks I have become very thankful for Netflix.  What else would be entertaining on television from 4-7 am?

The baby has also found a way to rest what I believe is a foot right in my upper right rib cage.  That dull ache I can deal with - easily.  But the nerve it's sitting on and pinching which is making the top of my belly tingle and feel like it's "falling asleep" 24 hours a day has me just about losing my mind.  I constantly am trying to change positions, lay down, stand up, walk, rest, and none of it helps.  I also asked my doctor about it and she says "Sounds you're just one of the unlucky ones."

There it is folks.  Someone told me I was unlucky.

But that's okay.  Because as I type this and stare at the computer screen, my stomach is moving.  And that, to me, is very lucky.

The Golden Question

I figured once I was pregnant people would be interested in our due date, if I was having a boy or a girl, if we had names figured out, if we were nervous, etc.  What I didn't expect was the overwhelming amount of what I dubbed "The Golden Question"

HOW ARE YOU FEELING?

At first I thought it was so sweet.  People making sure everything was okay with me and that I was feeling healthy throughout the pregnancy.

Then it became redundant, but I still thought it was nice and respectful of people to ask.  And I reminded myself that I was very lucky to be able to answer that question with "really great" or "fantastic" or even "no complaints".  And that reminder pushed me through.

Now that I'm almost 32 weeks pregnant (Maybe almost 35 depending on how much this baby decides to keep growing) it's getting harder and harder to not say the truth.

*I'm sick of peeing all the time
*I'm hungry a lot, but feel like barfing after everything I try and eat
*My rib cage is killing me
*My back constantly hurts
*I can't sleep for more than 2 hours at a time and I'm so tired
*I miss beer
And the best one:
*I can't even tie my own shoes, how do you think I'm feeling?

But of course people don't ask me the question to hear the *real* truth so I suck it up, put a smile on my face and a hand on my what seems way too giant belly, and say

"I'm feeling really well thank you so much for caring"

Blah.  Just earlier this week I hit my point.  My breaking point of not really wanting to be pregnant anymore.  Sure the kicks and movements are fun, but the rest I could really really really do without.  Then I think about not being pregnant anymore and I feel a little guilty for wanting to wish it all away.  I just need to remember to tell myself that it's only for a limited time in my life that I will be blessed enough to bear children and I shouldn't take it for granted.  I can't promise to be perfect and not get frustrated with the fact that I can't paint my toenails or take a deep breath, but I can promise to try and remind myself I'm part of a miracle and not everybody can say that.  I need to be thankful, appreciative, and excited that my body allowed me this gift. 

I can do it.  I know I can.  And I will forever be thankful for this miracle.

Sneak Peek!

This week I had my 30 week appointment for me and baby.  Everything was fine - weight, blood pressure, and heart beat.  Until she went to measure me and we were measuring at 34 weeks!  Eek!  She scheduled an ultrasound for me and we had that today.

It was so heart warming to see the baby on the screen again.  The tech was really nice and gentle.  She retook all the measurements of baby and made sure she pointed out exactly what she was measuring.  We immediately told her that we didn't know what gender the baby was and she was very respectful.  Turns out baby had it's legs underneath it's butt so she never even got a shot of it either :)  That made me very happy!

Baby turned out to be measuring just about 2 weeks ahead of schedule and the ultrasound machine gave a due date of June 10.  Our original being June 23.  Baby weighs 4 lb. 4 oz. and perfectly healthy! 

She tried to get a few 3D images for us, but by the end baby was not cooperating and was hugged up to the placenta so we couldn't get a shot of the face.  Doesn't bother me - I was just glad she tried for us!

My doctor just called and said she was very happy with our results.  Placenta, fluid levels, and baby all look perfect.  Turns out baby is just long and not as heavy to match the length.  The weight came back in the 74th percentile so she is going to keep our original due date, but made a note in my file to make sure we keep an eye on measurements and around the first of June to make sure baby isn't too big.  Then we will talk about inductions/weight size/date changes at that point. 

I was freaked out a bit this week because of this, but Mark was wonderful.  He made sure to be by my side during the ultrasound and as soon as the baby popped up on the screen  he got a smile on his face.

While pregnancy is no easy task to take on, I can't believe how fast it's going.  31 weeks tomorrow.  I remember being excited to hit double digit weeks and see our baby was now the size of a lime.  Now I'm afraid to see how big :)

Tonight starts our first night of child birth class so I hope we come home with tons of information.  I'm sure that will be an entirely new post when I get around to it! 

With all that said - here are the 2 salvageable images from our appointment today.  Everybody say hello to Baby Nightingale!

One outfit at a time!

So I always told myself that I would buy the cutest going home outfits for the babe.  After awhile I decided I would splurge and buy one girl outfit and one boy outfit.  Last week Fargo had a Carter's store open up so I made sure to go in on opening day and take advantage of some good deals.  Unfortunately Mark was out of town and unable to come with me, but rest assured he liked the outfits I chose.  And for once it was really fun to shop for a gender specific outfit.  Much easier that gender neutral, that's for sure :)  And it also made me realize I don't have a gender preference at all - I had fun on both sides of the store!

BOY:

Of course, what little newborn baby boy doesn't need a hood and pockets - my heart just melted when I saw this adorable outfit!

GIRL:

The multi colored polka dots, bows by the snaps, and of course the ruffles on the butt all made me realize if we have a little girl, she had to come home in this outfit!

I made sure to pick outfits with soft fabrics - and in a bigger size.  So while baby might be swimming in it's first outfit, at least it will get worn more than once!

Carter's also had some really cute items, but they were a bit pricey.  The people were very helpful and nice.  And while I can usually find clothing I like at TJ Maxx that is Carter's brand for cheaper, I'm sure this was not my last purchase at this store.

I'm so glad to have one more thing crossed off the list!  Time sure will be flying by soon enough and our own little one will be here to change our lives forever.

Baby and Ruby - Camera obsessed!

It seems as though Ruby is quite the camera hog.  Whenever I have it out to snap a photo of progress we've made in the house - lately the nursery - she grabs a toy and poses in front of the camera.  And who can help but to take her picture?  I swear she gets cuter every day - that or I get more emotional every day.  Feel free to choose which scenario you think is best :)

That being said - here's what Ruby has been up to for the past few months:

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As you can see she got a haircut for her nice spring look :)  And a new ball to play with thanks to her lovely daddy!

She's starting to really get adjusted to all of the new furniture, clothes, and blankies in the nursery.  She used to be obsessed with everything we brought home, but now she is able to ignore it.  Here's hoping her and the baby are best of friends!


 As for the nursery progress I finally got the photos off the camera.  Walls have been painted and things are just about finished being set up.  Of course we are missing some last minute details, but I'm waiting until after my showers to finish.  Plus I'm getting more relaxed about the room being completely finished before baby comes anyways - Must be getting tired in the third trimester!
Now for the nursery update!  

I'm so happy with how the paint colors, closet, and other small accessories are all coming together.  We've been working on some storage issues so that I'm sure will be the next nursery post - when I get around to it.

But for now I'm enjoying feeling like I have a pretty good handle on things, friends that support me, a family that's already dying to meet this baby, and just love from everyone around me.  It's really helping me to remain calm and remind myself that I just need to take it - one day at a time!

Loose Ends

It's been an interesting week so far that's for sure.  Mark is out of town for work and although he was supposed to be home yesterday, it's looking like it might be tomorrow night.  I try and try and try to be supportive because I know that he would rather be home with me and Ruby, but it's hard when I need help and never know when he's going to be able to come back.  That part is probably the worst.

I didn't handle the news very well this time and tried to remind myself that it's better he work out of town and later now than in 8 or so weeks when I could possibly really need him here.  I think I owe Mark something nice when he gets back for my emotional behavior.  I'm thinking a nice home cooked meal will do the trick :)  He has been eating Arby's every night for supper for the last 4 days.

Of course the worse thing that happened was I took a spill down the stairs and while Mark was gone and while both me and baby are fine, my back is very sore.  It's hard to get Ruby hooked up to her rope, unload the dishwasher, and lift anything heavy.  Maybe I'll have to add a nice home cooked dessert to the dinner I cook when he returns will help me get a back rub from him!

Meanwhile to cure my boredom while he's been gone, Pinterest has become my friend.  I decided to start gathering ideas for Roman and Anna's wedding, which of course I have no idea when it will be due to the lack of an engagement right now :)  But I just love getting my creative juices flowing - especially when it's not my money this time!  During the whole research process I stumbled upon my old vendors' websites to see what rates are these days and anything new I would have missed.  It was much to my surprise that I found our wedding pictures everywhere!  I knew the ones on our photographer's page for sure, but I hadn't been to our reception page.  Turns out she revamped her whole page with our reception as the background!  It made me feel so nostalgic about our day and a bit vindicated about every choice I made and dollar I spent.  It's an honor and I'm so glad other people saw the beauty in our special day, just like we did!

Showers!

I can't believe I'm far enough along in this pregnancy that my showers are coming soon!  We officially got our first invitation and it's so weird that it's almost here - I almost am in denial about it.  I got the same giddy feeling that I got when our very first RSVP for our wedding was in the mail.  I can't believe how excited we are!

I put the invite on the refrigerator and smile so big whenever I see it when I get something to eat or drink - which by the right now is a TON :)

The only downfall is that right after the invites came out, I got an email from Babies R Us saying a few things on our registry have moved to clearance items or are limited availability now and I should look into it.  Normally I wouldn't care, but if it was a big ticket item like a car seat, stroller, pack n play, etc. I wanted to replace it with something similar.  I signed on to our registry to fix the situation and of course right on the top they put the list of things people have purchased for us already.  I'm so disappointed that I saw, but there were only about 5 things on there so I don't feel so bad.  Of course now I'm fighting the urge to keep logging on.  Somewhere I must find the will power not to, since I can't seem to find the will power to say no to some ice cream every night. ;)

Also on Easter Sunday my aunts decided they wanted to have a shower for me and baby as well.  This brings the total to 3 showers before baby, and 1 afterwards.  Holy Moly are we lucky to have such wonderful friends and family!

The closer the shower gets the more anxious I get about us not having enough stuff.  But this is a time in my life when I need to remember that I have to wait and can't plan everything out right away.  It's a hard lesson to learn, but hey, I might love that I have some things to do towards the end of my pregnancy when time will seem to c.r.a.w.l. by!

But for now I have taken my time away from the registries and enjoyed some alone time with Ruby while Mark is out of town for work.  Hopefully he returns soon though - I could definitely use a back rub and some help with a few chores :)

Sugars, Needles, and Lab Tests

Come Monday April 2 it was time for my dreaded gestational diabetes test.  The normal routine that I had read about online was to show up for your test, drink an orange flavored glucose drink, wait an hour, get your blood drawn, then go home and wait for your results.  If you passed the test you were done, if not you had to repeat the test - only do it for 3 hours!  Needless to say I was a bit nervous, but especially wanted the test over with.

I didn't have to do it on a specific day since m y doctor just ordered me some labs and I could do it any time.  I chose to do it this day since I didn't have work or anything.  I got to the hospital and the whole thing went down basically like I had read about.  I got there and they wanted a urine sample.  When I finished that I met the lab tech at a cooler and she pulled out an orange drink.  She poured it into a glass, told me I had 5 minutes to drink it, and she was going to set a timer for an hour for me so she would know when to call me back.

The drink was not as bad as I thought it would be.  And it REALLY helped that it was very very cold.  I love cold drinks.  It was just like drinking a flat orange soda.  Although towards the end I realized I wasn't drinking it fast enough and had to gulp it.  That's when you could taste how sugary it was.  I finished in my time limit and was on to sitting in the waiting room for an hour.  I was very glad I had my nice phone and I also brought my NOOK.  But by the time I was going to read, an ADORABLE little 18 month old was there with his dad and was so cute and talking to me.  The hour went by pretty fast :)  Then she called me back and the worst part started.  I have the worst veins for drawing blood.  Long story short I had 4 different nurses, 9 different sticks, a dizzy spell, and a baby kicking up in my ribs.  I was VERY uncomfortable.  Thank God I gave the last lady permission to take out of my forearm, even though it hurts like crazy, I needed it over.

After the worst blood draw in history, I had to run up to see my doctor's nurse really quickly to get my RhoGam shot.  I had one of these before during my previous miscarriage so I knew the drill.  I got the card for my wallet, she drew up the shot, and put it in my right hip.  Didn't hurt NEARLY as bad as my blood draw from downstairs.  She got all my stuff done fast and I was out of there for  lunch with Mark!

I had never needed food so badly.  You can't eat for a few hours before the test and it was so sugary that I was starving by this point.  Mark let me pick where to go and Wendy's it was.  Meat and salty things never tasted so good in my life!

The nurse called me the next day and said I passed my diabetes test so that was a huge relief!  She also said I would be getting all my lab results in the mail later that week.  I received them on Friday in the mail and I passed with flying colors.  But also they check your iron and there was a letter attached from my doctor saying I have mild anemia and needed to start an iron supplement that I could purchase over the counter or she would get me a prescription.  Thankfully Mark and I had some errands to run that evening so while we were at Wal Mart we picked up some iron pills.  So far I have no side effects from them so that's awesome!

I'm so glad that everything worked out and that both me and baby continue to be healthy, strong, and growing on track.  We are really and truly blessed!

Busy Bees!

It officially feels like there isn't enough time to do all the things we want to!

After my siblings left Fargo, we spent the week cleaning up, catching up on household chores, paying bills, all the boring stuff :)  Then the next week my sister called and said her and my mom are coming up the next weekend of the 31st to do big girl shopping and baby shopping!  I  was excited to be able to have some girl time!

They arrived Friday afternoon and I met Mom and Em at Cutting Edge after work.  This is something Mom was looking forward to!  She purchased a new wedding ring there - get this - June 23rd of last year!  She put it on lay away and was ready to pick it up!  She was using her  diamond out of her old set so she wanted to drop it off so they could get working on it.  Much to our surprise, it would be ready in a few hours.  We ran a few errands, did some girly shopping, then Emily went to my house to see Michael for a bit while Mom and I got some frozen yogurt and chatted until her ring was ready.  When it was time it was BEAUTIFUL!

We came home and visited with everybody for awhile.  Just played some games and chatted.  We were going to have a late supper - My aunt and uncle Laura and Brad were in Moorhead for a track meet so we met for dinner.  It was very nice to see them and they were excited about my big belly :)  We were all STARVING at this point and food tasted awesome.  We also bought some lottery tickets to try and win the $640 million jackpot for Mega Millions.  I'm still blogging at home, so we didn't win :(

We got home, played some Mario Party 9 on  the Wii, got in our comfy clothes, and just rested until bedtime!  Saturday was going to be fun!

Michael  slept since he drove cab the night before, the girls were going baby shopping,  which left Mark alone.  I felt bad for a minute, but then realized he NEVER gets time alone.  He used it to fix our dishwasher - what a guy!  Grandma and Auntie spoiled our little baby - clothes, blankies, stuffed animals, diapers, wipes, nursery decorations, baby toiletries, and MORE!  I felt so relieved afterwards - I had no idea how many basics I didn't have.  Shopping was fun although I did have to hear about not knowing the sex of the baby all afternoon.  Oh well - can't change it now!

After shopping we came back to the house for drinks and hanging outside.  It was beautiful outside!  And of course a little bit of sulking about our losing lotto tickets.  Then we got ready to eat supper at Mexican Village - Mom's request - then came home and played more games. 

Sunday morning they left pretty early and Mark and I got to work trying to figure out how to organize all our baby stuff.  I think I got a good system in my head, but I'm sure once more things starting accumulating the system will change a thousand times.  And I'll have to be okay with that!